The Genius of Brooke Castillo's Self Coaching Model

It's been a good few months for me and new discoveries. I spoke about my first encounter with Brené Brown here, and the other gem I've been wanting to share with you is the life coach Brooke Castillo

I discovered Brooke, as I do so many great authors and speakers, through The Lively Show, Jess Lively's podcast. Jess is a brilliant interviewer and always has fascinating guests on her show. I find lots of goodness through her podcast but rarely go too deep into the guest's work (remember my March intention to ditch too much personal development?). I only have so many hours in the day to read and listen, so I try to limit it to a few key people.

Well let's just say Brooke has taken over many of those hours. Her two interviews on The Lively Show (here and here) led me to Brooke's own podcast, The Life Coach School Podcast, which is full of so much goodness around managing thoughts, feelings and creating the life you want. 

Brooke's main principles are represented in the Self Coaching Model. Firstly I love the model because it, of course, implies you can do it for yourself. Secondly, it is genius and completely obvious and difficult and mind-blowing and crazy hard all at the same time. Let's take a look:

The model outlines the following (and excuse the dramatic examples but they're good to illustrate the cycle):

  • Circumstances are FACTS and everyone must agree on them being facts. e.g. I lost my job, I weigh X, I write this blog.
  • Thoughts are subjective and are what we create about our circumstances e.g. I am hopeless, I am overweight.
  • Feelings are vibrations (yes, just vibrations) in our body that result from our thoughts e.g. depression or guilt.
  • Actions are how we respond to our feelings e.g. I'm going to stay inside all day, I'm going to give up and eat a tub of ice cream.
  • Results therefore come from the preceding actions e.g. I remain unemployed, I gain more weight.

It may seem obvious but Brooke teaches that our thoughts really do create our reality and our thoughts are not necessarily the truth - they are just an interpretation of our circumstances.

As she said on The Lively Show,

“The world cannot cause our emotions. Our emotions are always caused by what we think.” 

Pretty amazing right?

So whatever situation you find yourself in - positive or negative - it is a result of the thoughts and therefore feelings and actions that you have created about a circumstance.

Brooke teaches that when we can learn to observe our thoughts, rather than take them as the absolute truth, we can really begin to create the day to day and ongoing life that we want - because we are in control. No one else. Awesome right?

I haven't nailed the model yet but am absolutely becoming more aware of my thoughts and feelings and how I get to choose my reactions to a circumstance.

...Now go and download Brooke's podcast and enjoy all the further goodness you'll get from it. 

Let me know your initial thoughts (pun intended) on the coaching model in the comments below. Are there any pressing areas of your life you can apply it to?

March Recap and April Intentions

Well, Q1 of 2016 is about done lovely readers.

It did go quickly but I take that in a good way - it means I was busy doing enjoyable things and not feeling bored or sluggish.

Let’s take a look at how I did with my March intentions and set one for April.

Enjoy the weather

I totally embraced this intention in March.

I sat in the backyard and watched our cat munch on grass, I walked along the river as the sun was setting and we ate dinner out on the balcony as often as possible.

Although the warm weather and light have been so enjoyable, the mornings are becoming darker and I’m ready for the clocks to change and the cool months to roll in.

But then again, my April intention may be swaying that position...

Less personal development

This was truly hard!

I had an inkling, but it’s totally been confirmed that I am addicted to podcasts and blogs with themes of self-discovery and personal development.

I found myself wanting to catch up on my regulars, and had to make a concerted effort not to.

In being mindful of not overloading my brain with too much ‘self-help’, I focused on podcasts with a wider variety of interviews and read some more light-hearted blogs and news sites.

April intentions

Embrace our trip fully

As I mentioned, maybe I’m handling the thought of cooler weather better because we’re about to escape it for a few weeks.

With our trip to South East Asia ahead, I’m excited to see new parts of the world and escape everyday routine for a while.

Enjoying the food, lazing on the beach and walking the streets (if I can learn how to navigate crossing the road in the bigger cities) are high on my list.

How has your March been? Let me know below!

 

February Recap and March Intentions

I usually try and keep a positive attitude here on the blog, but I am in complete denial that summer is ending here in Australia.

We had a rubbish week of weather in mid-February and I can feel the days getting shorter already.

What are your best tips for accepting the change of seasons? Halp!

Ok, back to normal programming now. How did I do with my February intentions?

Focus on home decor

Although the Pinterest boards continue to grow, I haven’t purchased much in the last month.

After closer consideration, I think I need to replace big ticket items, rather than continue buying trinkets and feature items.

And that takes some $$ saving...stay tuned.

Plan trip away

We were trying to tie a work trip into our jaunt to America and Mexico, and unfortunately our plans were foiled last month.

The good news is we’re still going on a holiday - but now to Vietnam and Thailand.

Let me know any tips on these countries in the comments below and, in the meantime, I’ll keep following Alaina Kaczmarski, co-founder of The Everygirl, on Instagram as she’s in Vietnam right now. 

Rehab

So I was gearing up to tell you guys how regular I’ve been with my rehab and the benefits I’ve been noticing.

But of course I’ve now woken up with a super sore lower back today and I feel like I’m back at square one a little.

Time to book a visit to the osteo to get sorted again.

March intentions

Enjoy the weather

Rather than moaning about the end of summer, I’m going to kick the gratitude up a notch.

My plan is to enjoy walks on the river, wine in outdoor beer gardens and dinners on our terrace while it’s still light in the evenings.

In the meantime, I’ll try to stay positive and keep saving articles about jazz like this. Apparently I’m going to be smarter in winter!  

Less personal development

So I had a few other ideas for March intentions, but felt a little tired and overwhelmed when I thought about them.

So rather than working on myself in another way, I’m going to try and do the opposite and embrace less personal development.

Yup, as I mentioned here,  constantly striving for self-improvement and absorbing the associated media can be exhausting. I’m taking a break.

What are your plans for March?

 

My Newest Habit: Journaling

As I mentioned in this post, January has seen me trying out a new practice in both my morning and evening routines.

Inspired by The Five Minute Journal, the prompts of its pages provide a simple and swift way to enjoy your days more.

Gratitude and looking forward

In the mornings, you’re asked to think of what you’re grateful for and then what three things would make that particular day great.

Some examples I’ve written include lunch with a friend, a yoga class, a productive day at work, a relaxing evening with a movie, etc.

I enjoy this practice because rather than feeling sleepy or grumpy about getting up and starting the day, you are immediately putting a positive spin on the day ahead.

I also usually check in on the journal when I get home from work. I can then see what I’d hoped would make the day great when I was starting my day, and try to make sure it happens before the day is out.

Looking back

I don’t always remember to do the evening questions, but when I do, I’m prompted to think about what went really well that day and what I would improve.

What may have seemed like a standard work day, with a night at home doing the regular chores, now has a much more positive spin when you think about what went well.

You can also start to see patterns of the areas where your days don’t go so well. For example, feeling swamped at work, missing a workout, not connecting in relationships, etc.

As you can tell, my mindset has definitely been shifted in a positive way, and I’m also more conscious of what I want day to day.

Do you journal? Has this inspired you to try it out?

 

The Birthday Post: 5 Lessons Learned

Well happy birthday to me! Another year has passed and I’m following my blogging tradition of summing up the lessons I’ve learned over the last 12 months. You can read last year’s post here

Let’s do this:

1. I measured my success by how much fun I’m having.

I’m going to post more about this in the future, but as we move deeper into adulthood, do you think we have we forgotten to have fun?

Between work, fitness, mortgages, kids, are we just slogging through life? I definitely was - or more specifically I was slogging it through to Friday, then finding solace in a pizza or bottle of vino.

This past year I’ve prioritised fun and I make sure I have something enjoyable to look forward to every, single day.

Examples of this include taking myself to lunch each Monday (rather than working through my lunch break while chowing down leftovers) and taking a bath on a Wednesday evening with a good book and a margarita. Don’t judge me, I’m having a blast ;)

2. I toned down on self-improvement.

My love of podcasts goes deep and whenever I’m alone I’m listening to one. This includes during my commute, on my lunch break, at the gym and while cooking.

What I didn’t realise was the insidious nature of the content I was listening to.

Many of the podcasts I listen to are about self-improvement and productivity, and often involve interviews with people who have written books or created courses on ways to improve yourself.

I was finding myself thinking ‘ooh, I should do that/buy that book/sign up for that course’ and it was exhausting me.

Even though you think you’re improving yourself (and that's got to be a good thing right?) there’s a time and a place for just ‘being’. Prioritising relaxation during your spare time is so important.

Nowadays I turn on some great music, or listen to a more ‘story-telling’ podcast, aka This American Life: activities that I find enjoyable, but that don't drive me to try and fix myself.

3. I broke up with diets.

Holy smokes, this was a big one for me. Let me know if you’d like a more in depth post on this, but thanks to the help of Paige Schmidt, I have at last broken up with trying to change my body. As a woman this is huge, and it’s one of the best things I’ve ever done.

I unfollowed all health and fitness accounts on social media, I unsubscribed from any healthy eating plans that were turning up in my inbox promising huge changes, and I now follow intuitive eating principles.

I’ve been eating as I please and doing the exercise that sounds good to me for about 8 months now and lo and behold (even though I very rarely weigh myself now) I haven’t gained any weight.

In past years, I would have been struggling with what I ate, forcing myself to do exercise I thought I 'should' be doing, and hoping I could shift the scale by at least a few kilograms. And for what?

4. I asked for help around the house.

Another big one for me. In line with the superwoman / maternal gatekeeping mentality, I was keeping it all together at home, trying to keep the house clean and working through a seemingly never-ending list of tasks around the house.

My husband has never been against splitting the cleaning, but I would either try and take it all on myself or criticise him for not doing enough / not doing it 'right'. Sound familiar?

So at last I asked for help. We drew up all the jobs that need doing and how often, and we split them 50/50. My to do list around the house is much more manageable and I can depend on my husband to do his share.

5. I focused on my relationships.

Relationships have been a big focus for me in the last year. Since using the Stop, Breathe, Think app, meditation has helped me get out of my own head and focus on the happiness of others. A la the self-improvement lesson, we can sit around pondering if we’re doing life ‘right’, or we can shift the focus outward.

When I go out to dinner with my husband, go on a walk with a girlfriend or call a family member for a long chat, I fill myself up and can focus on the bigger picture. It makes me grateful and it makes me happy.

What have you learned in the last year? Let me know in the comments below.

 

How To Get That Holiday Feeling In Everyday Life

As I mentioned here, I took a week off work last week and headed to warmer climes. Around the same time last year, I did a post on how I was trying to capture that holiday feeling in everyday life.

One of the days last week I was by myself. I wanted to capture here how I spent the day and remind myself to do it again.

It was one of those rare days where you fall into bed at night with opposing feelings of exhaustion and rejuvenation.

You can all hold me accountable to this, but I want some of my weekend days to follow the below formula. It’s easy to forget to take care of ourselves and do the activities that actually expand, rather than deplete, our energy.

Wake up on your own time

Enough said about this one really. There’s something rare and special about waking up sans alarm and reading in bed, or just lying there staring at the ceiling.

When life offers this option up (and I know it can be rare!), take it and luxuriate in it.

Move your body

I’m still not a regular morning exerciser but can really see the benefit of getting it done early in the day.

You’re less likely to put it off, you feel a sense of accomplishment and it often helps to wake us up and propel us on with the rest of our day.

As holidays can be indulgent, it felt great to do weights at the hotel gym during the morning. I almost jumped on the treadmill too, then realised I was planning on walking around the city most of the day, so canned that idea in favour of the outside world!

Include some culture

My theory is if you’re missing that travelling feeling, head to a gallery or museum. I get a distinct feeling over me when I walk around a venue like this, that I could be anywhere in the world.

I did spend a year living overseas and frequented galleries and museums in a lot of cities, but I’m pretty sure it’s a universal feeling for many people.

The Gallery of Modern Art (GOMA) in Brisbane was airy, quiet and gave me that worldly feeling all over again.

Enjoy a slow meal

Meals are such an important time for relaxing. Take your time ordering, think about how you want to feel after the meal and try and grab a good view for people or landscape watching if you can.

And I wanted to feel like I’d had a beer, so I had one!

Take some quiet time

I chose a spa to enjoy my quiet time. I know having a spa is not always possible in everyday life, but the concept of relaxing and resting after a day out usually is.

I was umming and ahhing about heading down to the spa alone but as soon as I got there I felt much more relaxed. I read my book, eased my muscles after a day out - it was perfect.

Escape via fiction or music

My default when I have ‘spare time’ is to start scrolling through my phone. Checking social media and, more frequently, clicking on self-help-style blog posts usually leads me down the rabbit hole to new books, courses and theories I could be learning about.

The internet pulls us in many mental directions, so I’ve been trying to use my spare time to either read some fiction, or put on a great playlist.

I still get the enjoyment and entertainment I’m after, but it’s more relaxing than filling my brain with self development (read: ‘you’re not good enough’) ideas.

Catch up with friends

Another no brainer I think. Good conversation and spending time with people we care about fills us up emotionally more than any other activity.

If you’re in a slump or even after a relaxing day, call a friend or family member up and relish in the quality time together.

What do you do on holidays that you neglect to do in everyday life?

 

Where I'm At with Rachel Gadiel from Nourish

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Welcome to the next interview in the series, 'Where I'm At'. It's a voyeuristic, yet helpful look into the lives of women who are finding where the light plays within them.

Their daily rituals, ways of managing stress and advice to you, the readers, are captured in these interviews.

This month we’re talking to Rachel Gadiel from the blog, Nourish. Rachel is a gorgeous coach and blogger, who lives in the Northern Beaches of Sydney. She focuses on many of our favourite topics around here – simplicity, productivity and of course, nourishing ourselves. Rachel also coaches other creative bloggers and business owners on intentional ways to grow their passions.

When I reached out to Rachel, I had the loveliest response from her, so admire her even more than when I was reading from afar! Enjoy the interview and head to her blog and social media (her Instagram is one of my faves) to show her some love. 

 

What is your usual wake up time?

During the week I generally wake up at around 7am. Weekends are definitely an indulgent, slower start at around 8 and sometimes 9am!

How do you like to start your day?

On weekdays my morning routine is super simple as I’m on a mission to get out the door to work. It starts with a glass of warm water and lemon juice and a healthy breakfast, followed by a cup of coffee. I always make sure I begin each day with positive affirmations and a chapter out of a personal development book I’m reading.

A positive mindset is everything – become the master of your thoughts and believe you can achieve anything, and you will!

Tell us about your commute.

I’m lucky to live super close to work – it’s a 5 minute drive and 30 minute walk. I intentionally set the goal of walking to and from work 3 days a week which is a great way to fit in moving my body. To make this time productive I love listening to an uplifting podcast or a book on Audible. The other days I drive, and when I do it feels like a luxury!

Do you like to plan your day ahead or allow for some spontaneity?

As I’m working full time and hustling my coaching biz on the side, it is super important for me to be organised and keep on top of my daily to do list. I’m a firm believer that the secret of success lies in your daily routine and habits. Being super clear about your overall vision, combined with the daily discipline of your habits, will naturally mean you’re on the path to success.

Don’t get me wrong, I still think leaving room for spontaneity is important too, but it’s all about balance and getting your priorities in order.

How do you spend your ideal lunch break to recharge for the afternoon?

I always grab my book and get out of the office to soak up the fresh air and sunshine – this gives me more energy and a positivity boost to power through the afternoon. I find reading always inspires me with ideas for blog posts and my coaching clients, so I always have a notebook handy to write down any nuggets of wisdom!

What kind of workout schedule do you try to adhere to?

I aim to work out at least 3–4 times a week and try to move my body most days. I tend to do a mix of both resistance training and cardio. I like to mix things up by doing a boot camp once a week, pilates and I’m also a fan of the BBG by Kayla Itsines and love doing her workouts at home. Throw in the odd yoga class and run when time permits. 

How do you like to end your day?

End of the day is all about unplugging and cuddling up to my love on the couch, watching a TV show together. At the moment we’re watching season 3 of Orange is the New Black - such an awesome show!

What time do you doze off?

Bedtime for me is 11-11:30pm. 

And to finish off, here's Rachel's current manifesto:

Thanks for giving us a peek into your daily life Rachel. I’m sure you can see why she’s such a success,  with discipline and focus propelling her forward.

Go and give Rachel some love (and follows) at the links below:

Website: rachelgadiel.com

Instagram: http://instagram.com/rachelgadiel

Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/hopscotchgrace/pins/

Bloglovin': https://www.bloglovin.com/blogs/nourish-10306535

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thisisnourish

Twitter: https://twitter.com/rachelgadiel