I Worked Out Why You're 'Too Busy'

If you think back over the last week, how many times did you reply ‘good... busy’, when asked how you are? 

I hear it so often - from coworkers, friends, clients and, of course, I hear it come out of my own mouth too.

I genuinely feel busy - I have a job that keeps me busy, a social life, a side business, family, friends. The thing is I don’t want to feel bored and have nothing to do - I’m grateful for all in my life.

But I also don’t want to use ‘busy’ in a negative way or as an excuse.

This is unfortunately what I hear so often - not just I’m busy, but I’m ‘too busy'. That’s when alarm bells start ringing for me, and here’s why...

You are prioritising ‘busy work’

We’ve spoken a lot about the second shift here on the blog - the household labor women do after their paid job is done.

After all, if you look for it, there’s always something to do in your second shift.

Is your house clean? I bet you could take everything out of your kitchen cupboards and clean those out too (please don’t).

I really want you to think about the things you can let slide… I’ve had two examples of this in the last few days.

Firstly, I got back from my holiday to Hawaii and my general inclination is to unpack and put the washing on once I get in the door. Why? I just got back from holiday. Instead, I made myself a coffee, sat on the couch and watched a movie. The suitcase was still there the next day once I’d had a good sleep and eased back into home life a little more.

Now, once I got the washing on the next day, I heard the washing machine beep its last beep, just as I was in the middle of writing this post. My inclination? Jump up and go hang the washing out. Why? I’m in the middle of something more important to me and the washing will be there in an hour when I’m done.

If you’re not ready to let anything slide this week, at least observe when you might be doing this - either doing things you don’t care about, or interrupting yourself constantly to rush on to the next task.

You’re avoiding what you care about most

Ding, ding, ding! This is the clincher my friends and something I observe frequently.

For my brain it’s much easier to hang out laundry than it is to write a blog post.

Writing a post takes thought, effort, courage, working through fears.

Who wants to do that when I can just stand in the backyard, pegging t shirts on the clothesline?

So often we deprioritise the things that are important to us for the sake of being busy. And this can include self-care or relaxation.

For example, I noticed earlier in the year that my days were going like this - work all day, go to the gym, cook dinner, then sit down to work on my website…

Of course, I was too tired to work on my website by then and although the other tasks were still important to me, I was putting less important things ahead of my main goal.

I’ve seen this in many areas with clients - 'I have to look after my family so I don’t have time for exercise', 'I have to check my work emails in the evening after dinner, so I don’t have time to paint', 'I can’t sit on the couch when there are dirty dishes in the sink', and on and on.

The things that scare or challenge us are the things we push aside, but they are also usually the most rewarding.

What step can you take towards a scary goal this week, ahead of your busy work?

You’re letting your mind run the show

Have you ever noticed how you can do things on your to do list with pain or ease? Let me give you an example.

Some Sunday afternoons, I cook around three meals for lunches and dinners for the week ahead. I can do it one of two ways.

  1. I try and do it as quickly as possible, multi tasking across recipes, huffing and puffing around the kitchen, watching the clock, lamenting having to cook on a Sunday. I also notice I’m more likely to cut my finger with a knife when I’m in this type of mood. Sounds fun right?
  2. I put on a podcast, pour myself a drink, grab everything out that I need for the first recipe and methodically work through each step in a relaxed way. I admire my handiwork when everything is in tupperware containers and reward myself when I’m all done - with a bath, an episode of a great show or getting ready for dinner out with friends.

The crazy thing is it usually takes me the same amount of time to meal prep whether I choose option 1 or 2 and guess which one leaves me happier?

If you have chosen to do something, do you want it to be mentally painful or pain-free? Try it out this week and also have a read about segment intending for help focusing on the task at hand. 

Want to chat about this further? Book in for a complimentary 30 minute consult with me and we can look at your to do list and move you away from being ‘too busy’.

5 Ways I Sabotage My Days

Between thought downloads, segment intending and working on sleepless nights, you can imagine I’ve got a lot of stuff rolling around in my head day to day.

I’ve been lucky enough to have a few readers contact me and tell me how wise I seem in these types of blog posts. I truly appreciate that feedback and obviously do work hard on myself and try and bring newly discovered concepts to you readers.

But the true and original purpose of this blog was to show that I am not perfect and that these are just concepts to help you feel a little better, not to live an impossibly perfect life.

So here’s a peek behind the (sometimes dusty, sometimes ripped) curtain of my life and 5 ways I sabotage my own day.

I check my phone during sleepless nights (and first thing in the morning)

Despite my wise mother and her tips, if I wake at 3am and can’t get back to sleep, instead of working on getting rid of my worries, I usually find myself scrolling through social media - not the best way to lull myself back to sleep.

Oh and despite having better habits in the past, I also start reading my phone as soon as I wake up in the morning...

I drink too much coffee

I have always prided myself on being a 'one coffee a day kinda gal' - sure, I definitely need that one coffee, but it’s manageable.

I work in a great area full of amazing cafes, but instead of buying one coffee on the way to work, I usually try and save money by making one at work. But then, by mid-morning, I fancy a break so go and buy one and then… usually after lunch I’m ready for another.

I know three coffees is not crazy but it’s triple where I used to be.

Maybe if I stop checking my phone at 3am I won’t be so tempted by the three coffees?!

I get distracted all day by email and chat

Sound familiar?

Some days are managed better than others but, in all honesty, whenever I start a task, I’m suddenly preoccupied by chats from coworkers or random emails from clients.

To state the obvious, this leads to barely focusing on a task longer than 10 minutes and then ending the day wondering what I’ve achieved.

Yes, communication is huge in a workplace but so is actually getting some work done.

Now that I’ve confessed this, I’m really going to work on it again.

I rarely stretch after exercise

My amazing trainer has always tried to instil stretching into my routine - and, although I want to be flexible, spending time stretching somewhat goes against what I think is important health and fitness wise.

He tells me that the most important thing in your regime is stretching, then what you eat, then working out.

He encourages me to stretch for at least 15-30 minutes a day (oh and lie on a foam roller 15 minutes a day too...) but, despite my best intentions, I usually pick a gym workout over stretching, promising myself I’ll do a big stretch at the end.

Instead I stretch for about 5 minutes and am out the door…

I know it’s going to help with my crunched-up office worker body and be particularly beneficial long term but I just do not prioritise it.

Any tips on how to prioritise stretching readers?

I eat when I’m not hungry

As I mentioned in this post, I have come a long way with intuitive eating and avoiding the lure of diets.

Most of the time I listen to my body, but for some reason after dinner, while doing some work or watching some TV, I’m still in the habit of looking for a snack.

I know my body doesn’t feel its best when I eat just before bed but I still find myself heading for the pantry for something to do.

My new strategy is to grab a tea, which usually helps, but heading for food is definitely a default mode for me.

What do you think of my sabotaging ways? How do you sabotage yourself day to day?

 

My March Intentions

So I dropped off the radar for a couple of months on the intentions front but you readers know me - I haven’t been lying stagnant since December. I’ve been working on plenty of things, self development wise, work wise, fitness wise and business wise.

Sounds exhausting right? Bizarrely, it hasn’t been.

I think this is due to a few people and theories popping up for me - meeting Jess Lively was amazing, plus I’ve been working on segment intending, doing thought downloads and I started Brooke Castillo’s Self Coaching Scholars in February. I am seriously obsessed with Brooke right now.

This combination has had me feeling much more relaxed about life, working full steam ahead on things yes, but just focusing on what needs going, when it needs doing.

So what’s on for March?

March Intentions

Obsess a bit more over Brooke Castillo

Self Coaching Scholars includes monthly work, based on Brooke’s Self Coaching Model. March is dedicated to new beliefs and I’m going to keep up with the homework and podcasts as best I can.

Working on emotions and thought downloads in February was so beneficial to me so I’m sure whatever’s in store for me in March will have similar positive benefits.

Prep to launch my updated website

Just a small one here! Eeeek.

So after putting it off for a while (due to an unhealthy combination of doubting my design and tech skills, and fear of launching a crappy website), I’ve been working pretty hard on getting my content ready for a new version of my website.

As you guys know, I’m offering life coaching packages now and am almost fully booked up already, bar 1 spot (Would you like it? Go here and message me to set up a complimentary consult!)

So stay tuned for a refreshed website, hopefully followed by a new design later in 2017.

-

What’s on for your March? Hopefully the last month of Q1 will bring you plenty of momentum towards your goals.

Segment Intending (aka trying to live in the moment)

As you guys know, I am a big fan of Jess Lively. I’ve followed her for over 5 years now, from her original blog, Makeunder My Life, through to her Life with Intention work and for the last couple of years, her fantastic podcast, The Lively Show.

In the past few months, Jess has started speaking quite a bit about the Law of Attraction and Abraham Hicks. Now, I never saw The Secret and am still not sure how much I believe in the Law of Attraction, but after Jess’ recommendation, I listened to the audio book on a 6 hour drive over the holiday season.

One useful concept I did take from the book was what Abraham calls segment intending. So what exactly is it and how can it help you?

What is segment intending?

Essentially to me, it means living in the moment or the activity you’re undertaking. Abraham defines it a little differently as setting your vibration and pre-paving your path before moving into an activity, but let’s go with my definition for now.

So if you’re getting up in the morning, having breakfast, taking a shower and getting ready, you go into that phase of the day aware of the activities and concentrating on each, one by one.

It may seem obvious but how often in the morning, instead of focusing on your routine, are you spinning out on your to do list, checking your email or social media, or already trying to think of what to have for dinner?

Why is it useful?

If we’re not conscious about the activities we’re undertaking, depending on how you’re built, you’ll often be living in the future, constantly thinking about what’s next on your list, or dwelling on the past, overthinking past conversations or worrying about something that happened yesterday.

Those simple morning activities may not seem that exciting day in, day out, but, let’s remember, you’re only going to get a certain number of mornings in this lifetime, so let’s not wish them away.

What if you concentrated on your breakfast, preparing it slowly, exactly how you like it, and enjoying it at your kitchen table, staring out at your garden?

What if you bought amazing scented shower gel and luxurious moisturiser and enjoyed your shower routine each morning?

What if you filled your closet with clothes you love wearing, picked out your outfit and accessories and shoes, and dressed feeling fantastic for the day ahead?

Suddenly your mundane, rushed morning routine doesn’t seem so bad right?

Where have I seen benefits?

As I’ve been more aware of segment intending in my life, I’ve mainly noticed benefits on my commute, at work and surprisingly, at the gym.

Commuting often seemed boring to me or (quite obviously) a means to an end (i.e. hurry up and get me there!).

Rather than wishing this time away, I’m much more relaxed in traffic or on a busy train, listening to my music, looking out the window and just being where I am at while travelling. I know I’ll be busier once the commute is over, so enjoy the down time.

At work, I’ve talked about getting easily distracted by email, chat and urgent requests.

I haven’t nailed this by any means yet, but I’m trying to just do one task at a time or work on one project at a time. I then try and let there be a specific time or times for checking emails and chats. Wish me luck continuing this one as it’s a toughie...

Last but not least, my visits to the gym have seemed much better and worthwhile since hearing about segment intending.

I do enjoy working out but was often rushing through exercises, keeping an eye on the clock so I could get out of the gym within a certain time and planning my dinner and to do list in my head for once I got home. Sounds pretty stressful right?

Now I still distract myself a little with music or podcasts (no one wants to focus that much while lifting weights) but I’m much calmer, working through each exercise, making sure I have all the equipment I need set up, and taking it easier on the clock watching.

I focus on what I’m listening to or the routine at hand and actually leave the gym feeling kinda rejuvenated and chilled now.

Can you work segment intending into your life this week? Even trying it for your morning routine, commute or work day will likely help. Let me know how you go in the comments below.