Why Work Feels So Overwhelming (It May Not Be Your Workload)

It's 9.05am. You sat down twenty minutes ago knowing exactly what today was for. Then you opened your inbox – someone on your team needs something reviewed, a client's got an "urgent" request – and just like that, your whole plan is out the window.

The longer I do this work, the more convinced I am that workload is where you feel it, but it's almost never where it actually starts.

Let me tell you about two women.

One came to me in a really senior role. Everything felt urgent, every email needed a response five minutes ago. She told me she'd worked till 6 one night and realised she hadn't left her desk all day – not once. Her words: "I'm not in control of work. Work is controlling me."

That 9.05am scenario? That was another client, almost to the minute. She'd sit down every morning knowing exactly what she wanted to get done, and then her team and her clients would start needing things, and by 9.05 her own list had vanished. "My day is not my own," she said.

Both of them looked like they had a workload problem – way too much on their plates.

But when we dug underneath it, it was something else entirely. One was treating every single thing as urgent. The other was putting everyone else's stuff ahead of her own, every single time.

And you know what? There's usually this quiet little fear that if you stop carrying it all — if you let one thing wait — the avalanche of work is going to hit you. So you keep carrying everything. To prove you're not that person. (I see you, I've been her too.)

What I've noticed, after years of this, is that underneath the workload you almost always find one of a handful of patterns. The workload's real – I know it is. But it's often not the thing creating most of the pressure.

And if you're solving for the wrong thing? A new planner, a promotion, a new routine, even a whole new job won't fix it. (Trust me – wherever you go, there you'll be.)

The Four Hidden Patterns That Make Work Feel More Overwhelming Than It Needs To

1. Everything Feels Urgent

You struggle to distinguish between important and immediate.

Every email feels like it needs an answer now.

Every request feels equally important.

You're constantly reacting.

2. Everyone Else's Needs Come Before Your Own

You start the day with a plan.

Then your team, clients, colleagues and family start needing things.

One by one, your priorities get pushed further and further down the list.

3. You Spend Most Of The Day Second-Guessing Yourself

You make a decision.

Then revisit it.

Then go over it again.

Then wonder if someone else would have done it differently.

The work isn't taking all your energy. The questioning is.

4. You're Always Running Against The Clock

You finish one thing and immediately move the finish line.

The list never feels complete.

The day never feels done.

No amount of productivity seems to create enough space.

The good news, and I really mean this: all four are completely changeable. I've watched women go from perpetually behind to handing reports in early. From dreading presenting in front of the whole company to running the Q&A like it's nothing. From "they're going to find me out" to walking into a C-suite role with no worries. The workload doesn't always disappear – but the pressure almost always does. You don't have to do another year of this the same way – if you want to find your pattern, book a free 30 minute call: