How Goals Actually Work

COMMON GOALS AND WHY WE FAIL

“I just need to get out of this job and then I’ll feel happy.”

“I’ll feel better if I lose 5 kgs.”

“If I could just keep on top of the laundry, I’d feel less messy.”

Do any of these sound like your 2024 thoughts so far?

Amidst the goal setting frenzy, I bet you have had one along those lines.

But a quote I share regularly is, “Wherever you go, there you’ll be.”

Let me explain.

In the past you've probably changed jobs and still not felt happy. (“Wherever you go, there you’ll be.”)

You might have lost weight and gained it back. (“Wherever you go, there you’ll be.”)

You've had a good week of laundry but then noticed the linen cupboard is a mess and got down on yourself again for being behind on chores. (“Wherever you go, there you’ll be.”)

Changing your environment or even your behaviour is not actually the key to lasting change or completing resolutions.

Goals and new habits occur at the PURPOSE and IDENTITY level.

CHANGING AT THE PURPOSE AND IDENTITY LEVEL

Here's some examples based on the above thoughts. Notice they are not just dependent on environment or your own behaviour.

Goal: Change jobs

Purpose: To be a successful nurse

Identity Shift: I am excellent at my job and create success wherever I go.

Goal: Lose 5 kgs

Purpose: To feel lighter, and more agile

Identity Shift: I am a lighter, healthier version of myself and that comes naturally to me.

Goal: Become tidier

Purpose: To feel less cluttered in mind and physical space

Identity Shift: I am a tidy person, who understands cleaning is cyclical.

So rather than change your environment or behaviour, look at things from the PURPOSE and IDENTITY level instead.

NEXT STEPS

This is just one of the topics we’re covering in my new private coaching program, Not Dead Yet.

Yes, we'll work on your behaviours and your environment, but you'll uplevel your identity and find the true purpose and "why" behind your goals as the priority. You can book an Intro Call to learn more.