How to quiet negative self talk as a mum
It was 7am. I was on the couch under a blanket, and my brain was already at it.
Not with anything useful though.
“Call in sick. Who cares. You should have planned this better. No one wants you there anyway.”
Ohh, lovely. Thanks for that brain.
It wasn't even a bad week, just a busy one. Work stuff was happening behind the scenes, school holidays were incoming, family commitments were stacking up, a new idea landed in my lap that I hadn't planned for. Normal life, basically. The kind of week you're probably having right now.
But that's all the primitive brain needs. A busy week, a seed of uncertainty, demands from kids and off it goes.
What the primitive brain actually sounds like
I want to be specific here, because I think we often mistake this voice for truth.
It is veryyy convincing.
You should have planned a better holiday
No one wants you there
Who cares anyway
That last one is the sneaky one. Who cares? It sounds like detachment and brings some relief, but it’s actually your brain trying to protect you from disappointment before it happens.
What I did instead
I'm used to catching this now. Not because I'm special, but because I've done the work of learning what my primitive brain sounds like versus what my prefrontal cortex — the actual thinking part of my brain — sounds like.
So I made the switch.
Let's plan the day out so it feels easier
Call Mum and get her to help with Easter (shout out to Joy)
My daughter doesn't care about a perfect holiday. She cares about seeing her cousins. Holiday = made.
What do I actually need this week? Support, connection, space actually – thanks for asking, lol.
The week got a lot lighter after that.
Here's where I want to bridge to you
Because I'm guessing you have a version of this. Maybe it's not school holidays. Maybe it's a Sunday night. A hard conversation you're avoiding. A week that's just... a lot.
And the voice shows up and tells you you’re behind, that you’re doing it wrong, that every other mum is managing way better than you are.
That voice isn't the truth. It's just your primitive brain doing its job – keeping you small, safe and right where you are.
You don’t need to tell it to shut up, you need to learn to recognise it fast enough that it doesn't run the whole day.
That's what I help women do.
If you read this and something in you went yes, that's me – I'd love to have a conversation.
